HAVING a baby is one of the most emotional experiences you will ever have - woman or man;you will be blown away by the miracle that is your new child.

But did you realise the way you treat your baby in the first years of life can improve their brain function, ability to fight disease and to cope with adulthood?

Experts have now found that addictions or illnesses like depression and anorexia can belinked with how babies have been cared for.

Psychotherapist Sue Gerhardt, author of controversial new book Why Love Matters, has found that a baby's nervous system is shaped by early relationships.

Positive facial expressions, hugs, kisses and loving care can all improve your child's ability to cope with life as an adult.

"It is possible to predict future problems as early as the age of six to 10 months, not from the baby's temperament so much as the mother's behaviour," Sue said.

"Mothers who are not able to meet the needs of their baby are likely to be helping to incubate future aggression and conduct disorder.

"Teenage mothers, depressed mothers, addicted mothers and single mothers are most likely to show hostility and to dismiss their baby's communications.

"Their babies face the dilemma of being dependent on someone who isn't listening; they don't know whether to avoid her or to approach her to get their needs met."

Left unchecked, this situation gets worse and the problems that exist by the age of two persist and the outcome is often a restless, negative child.

"Around six per cent of school-age children are thought to have a conduct disorder," Sue said.

As the novelty of a newborn wears off on sleep-deprived parents, the tiny bundle of joy begins to represent a challenging period because parents are forced to give up their old life to look after this new one every minute of every day.

In our highly materialist driven world, new mothers find themselves going back to careers or jobs for money or adult stimulation, resulting in many babies being cared for by strangers in nurseries.

Experts like Sue and child guru and author Stephen Biddulph are now warning that these children are missing out on the constant love a one-to-one carer can give.

He said: "Probably the most stressful experience of all for a baby or toddler is to be separated from his or her mother. Early separation from the mother increases corticotrophin in the amygdala.

"This is thought to be the biochemical of fear, suggesting that even short separation from the source of food and protection is frightening." Sue says if a baby's needs are not met then these feelings will be carried through to adulthood. And she claims this can lead to illnesses like anorexia.

Stephen agrees and has spent the past five years examining studies of infants in long-term nursery care.

In his book, Raising Babies - Should Under 3s Go To Nursery?, he claims that during the first two years of life, brain development unfolds at its best with one-to-one care. This care could be from mother, father, a loving relative or, if necessary, a single, attentive paid carer.

During this research came the so-called cortisol studies, which measure the stress hormones in babies; and these levels were found to be higher in children who were put in nursery care for long periods of time. It is also claimed the development of a range of neurotransmitters in a baby's brain are affected by long periods of stress.

These brain changes will affect the way the child will react to stress, anxiety and negative feelings in later life. "This book presents much objective evidence, but it carries a strong professional opinion for which I don't apologise," says Steve.

"It is likely some people will feel angry after reading my book and it will be unsettling for those who feel trapped into placing their babies into nurseries when they'd rather not. But my responsibility as a psychologist and educator is to be honest, and convey findings and knowledge."

So what can we do about it? Sue said: "The first sources of pleasures are smell, touch and sound. Babies recognise their parents' voices and prefer them to any other. In mother's or father's arms, muscles can relax, as tensions are dispersed by gentle stroking or calm rocking.

"When we are physically held, we know we are supported by others."

If a baby's needs are not met, these feelings will be carried to adulthood'

FIVE TIPS TO BEING A BETTER PARENT

1. Listen and react to what your new baby is trying to tell you. Let yourself communicate with your new baby on their level.

2. Hold and love your baby as much as possible; with lots of hugs, smiles and positive faces and voices.

3. Delay nursery if possible until your child is at least three years old. And only at this age, introduce them gradually.

4. If you have to work, try to spend childcare money on employing someone who can give your child one-to-one attention instead.

5. Your child is learning from you, so try to be a good role model and be aware of how you are treating him/her.